Yesterday was my son’s 49th birthday – so hard to think of him as being there, he is still just my boy. I know he thinks of me too as still the younger person I was in his youth.  Every weekend he calls and we chat for an hour on the phone, as he lives in Washington, and most of the time in spokane – too far for us to get together regularly much as I would like to.  Yesterday it was a quick one, as he was about to board a bus to come to Seattle for today – a sad journey for him. One of his best friends passed away suddenly last week, and the memorial is to be held today. I never met Dan, but I heard of him almost every time Eugene and I talked, so felt I knew him somewhat. He leaves behind a 2yr old daughter and his wife. Why I am talking about this? It has left me in a funny mood, I think about how life has no guarrentees, and none of really know when our time is up. Dan was still young, barely 50, a life filled with loved ones and feelings he could live forever.
It brought up memories of the loss of my SIL so many years ago from a car accident – that was the most devasting thing to go through, and how thankfull I am that my daughter was able to cope through that tragedy, and is now happily married to a wonderful man and has three beautiful daughters.
I see so many of my friends now losing their loved ones and the grieving they go through that is so hard for some of them to overcome.
I think of my Mother, and cry as I miss her from the days she was so full of life and there whenever an adventurous idea came up – game to be a part of it (I do not like to think of the 12 years she spent in a nursing home, helpless and unable to even communicate properly – that was one of the hardest long term times I went though, and was actually happy when she decided to go)

So I guess this post is all about emotions, and life/death and possibly what is really important to us in this life – the people we know and love. 

Elmer and I talked a bit about this in another area. We have so many people we care about, be they family or friends. I try to connect often, and I at least try to let them know I think of them often and love them all. Do they even realise how sincere I am?  I make no demands on their time, I do not interfere with their lives or tell them how to run it, even if I think they have chosen a hard road and could do other to make it easier. It is not my place and I know how I feel if they tried to do that to me – would not like it at all, so I give them the same as I want back.  If they do ask though I will be honest in what my opinions and thoughts/feelings are on whatever question they have asked, and I know it is not always liked as sometimes the answer they want is a confirmation of good action, or a ‘yes man’ answer which is not always the one I give.  So how will I be remembered? 
 

When I woke up this morning the first thing I did was look out the bedroom window – thought my eyes must be really tired as it was just white out there
Seems we had a coating of snow overnight. Surprise!  Not much, just enough to cover the roofs, grass and roads. will be all gone once the sun warms everything up a bit.
Tuesday afternoon it was so pretty after a lot of rain. I had received the weekly sale letter in my mail from my favorite Nursery. They were advertising snapdragons for this week on sale. These just happen to be one of the flowers that I love to have in my garden every year as they are not only pretty, but flower right through fall.. Last year they did not have the regular ones and I missed them, so I was determined to get some this time. Called daughter Angela and asked if she would like to go with me to see if I could get some quickly before they sold out. She was game. And the timing was perfect – they only had a few plants left. I lucked out there. Wow they also had Calibroche(million bells), another plant I have come to love for my patio planters, that has become so popular that you have to get there early to find any, and again, last year I was not able to get them.  My shopping cart filled up fast – also picked up some almost neon red Geraniums – a new color by the look of it and just beautiful. I was a happy shopper!  They also had some very healthy strong baby tomato plants, so I picked up three for Elmer – makes him happy too. I am so pleased he decided to keep them all in the greenhouse till the weekend, when it is supposed to be sunny and much warmer, and I can hopefully plant them all in their new homes. It really is a bit early for them to be exposed to the elements.  That is the big problem – they are sold a couple of weeks too soon, and have to be babied till the right time. On the other hand, if I waited till then to look for them, they would not be available any more. Now just have to hope they continue to thrive in the green house till the right time to plant outside.