I have two things going on right now that I want to write about.

First – I picked up a trojan on my lap top in FB – not sure if it was through the site itself or my Firefox but it has taken over the computer.  Just so glad I have more than one computer right now.

The name – ThinkPoint – look it up.  It looks legit and carries the Windows logo but is not.  I am going to have to take it into a shop to get this one removed as I really do not feel up to trying to remove it myself – the online instructions are just too complicated for me to handle right now, guess I have have been trying to handle too much personally and just cannot get my mind to go to the mindset I used to have when dealing with things like this any more.

As for the second – guess what I would like is some input from anyone that has gone through getting false teeth.

6 weeks ago I had major surgery to remove the remaining couple of teeth I had and all the implants in my top jaw.  Bone implants had to be placed in the holes left from removing them from the bone and a lot of gum loss.   The Denturist had to work around the original mess before this was done, and at the time I was worried the plate would not fit even though he said he would work around that, as they had been placed incorrectly and not centered in the gum.  If he did this I cannot tell.
I was on pain medication for the first week, and assumed the problems I had was because of the surgery, the raw gums, the swelling, and this was something that would settle down after a while.
I could not eat at all with the plate – they hurt me, they moved around so you could not get a good connection between the bottom and the top teeth, I felt the bite was way off anyway as I had to move my bottom jaw into some strange angles just to close my mouth, yet he felt I had a good bite and it was just something I had to get used to.

I told him after a couple of weeks I could not wear them for a while, as they were not allowing my surgery to heal, and that was my priority.  He was not happy. I gave it a week and then tried again, as I was healing rapidly and the specialist that did the surgery felt I was way ahead in the healing process.  By then I could tell that there were some very major pressure points that needed to be taken care of, and yes the bite was off – he had to grind down a lot of the one side so that the teeth could meet at least. And grind down a small amount of the plate itself that was cutting into the top of the gum/lip area.  But the one area I told him did not fit and was causing some very painful pressure is the top of the pallet – feels as if the plate is not fitting with the pallet area – he was not going to accept that and said it was exactly formed to the roof of my mouth so it was me that was doing something wrong.  I had to wear the teeth so that my mouth would get used to it, and forget about eating the way I used to do (like I had been eating normally for the last 6 years haha) 

I talked to the specialist and told him what the problems were and he said he would talk to the Denturist, which he did.  Now i have no idea what was said, but when I went on Thursday for another fitting and check up, the Denturist gave me hell, told me this was it, I had come to the end of my options and he was my last resort, so I had better get used to wearing the plate and and deal with it.  I once again told him the biggest problem was the fit of the roof and once again he came up with well you have had time to lose a lot of weight and caused shrinking because you do not wear them – what!  I have not lost a pound in the 6 weeks I have virtually starved.  I repeated, this was a problem I have been complaining about from day 1 – he ignored that and proceeded to line the plate with another layer of soft goop.  Just says I better get used to seeing him and if there are any problems to come and he will work with it.  I promised him OK I will wear this for the weekend, have an appointment to see him Monday morning as he wants to make a hard lining now for them.  By Friday afternoon, my mouth was raw, I could taste blood, gums so swollen from it and I was in no shape to drive to his office to show him what it was doing to me.  Of course it is the weekend so cannot see him till Monday morning, and just dread going. Have no idea what a hard liner is or what he will do, but I am ready to throw them away.  I have not put them in after removing them in Friday afternoon, and my mouth is still sore 48hrs since I took them out. I cry myself to sleep every night because of all of this.

Now I ask – is this normal?

I am working in the dark here, do not know what I am supposed to expect, what  have others gone through to get to a point where they can wear and eat with false teeth?  I have asked him and just get the run around with no straight answer.

I have become a baby, so tired of trying to work in the dark like this and hurting every time I try to wear them and for days afterwards, I have reached the point where food makes me nauseous at the thought of even attempting to eat solids, and liquid diet is getting to be just as obnoxious, as this is all I have had for so long now, am running out of ideas to make nutritious things I can swallow without chewing.

An update on my surgery

Early yesterday morning daughter Angela drove me to Langley for this to take place. 

My mouth is sore, not only from the surgery, but all the numbing shots I had in order for him to do all the extractions of the 6 implants, two of my own teeth, and put in bone implants to fill all the holes in my top jaw bone.  Both of us were very worried he would not be able to remove the two placed in the eye teeth positions, as they had been implanted right into my sinuses (bad and not supposed to have been that high).  these were the ones giving me the most problems, causing all kinds of sinus and ear problems for me, and creating most of the infections I have been experiencing constantly since they were put in 5 years ago.
The shots only did half the job on those two particular ones – Ouch but the nerves were still active and nothing he could do but carry on while I “bit the bullet” so to speak and hung in there till it was over.  Dr. Jang was so happy though – he was able to remove them without tearing the membrane that had grown over them.  When he told me after it was all done I just started to bawl.  How could I explain to him how relieved I was he could do it, and they were gone! He did say it was too dangerous to add bone implants in their holes, but he did sew in an extra membrane, and I can just hope that some of my own bone will regrow to fill in the gap.

I was so worried to how the false teeth plate was going to be – with my mouth and face so numb, I did not really feel that much lol.  Afterwards, I felt glad that they were done this way, my top jaw is full of stitches, and so very tender now that the numbing part has finally receded – did not go away till after I went to bed last night. I slept on the recliner for at least two hours after getting home, then climbed into bed and continued sleeping ’til almost 5pm.  The plate actually protects the sore gum. going to take a lot of getting used it though. I have to remove them at night, and that was another experience as I was so worried I would suck on the gum, or my bottom teeth would clench or something while asleep and hurt some of the stitches (especially as the instructions are – no suction, no straws, no solid foods, no chewing for the first few days, especially do not use the front section of the teeth once I do start to try out softer foods(until the mouth has healed and the adjustments done for the plate to fit correctly), talk as little as possible, no hot or cold drinks or food for the next 4 days, no bending down or exercise that would put any strain on the mouth or facial muscles,  no blowing my nose, even if it is dripping, no sneezing, try not to cough in such a way that it would affect the sinus area (do not want to tear the very delicate membrane that is there) quite the list of instructions to keep in mind. 

This morning my face looks like a chipmunk with it’s cheeks stuffed with food  haha – very swollen, and there could be a possibility of turning black and blue in the next few days.  Tomorrow I go the Denturist for him to adjust the plate or plate lining? so that it does not slip and slide all over my mouth the way it does now. Guess there are going to be quite a few of those appointments as my gums change and heal.

Well now you know probably more than you wanted, but it is quite an experience for me, and will continue to be so till done.

I know, I have not written a blog in forever. Have not truly felt like saying much about myself in so long.

Some of you are aware I have been having problems with my implants. To be honest, I have been a miserable person for so long now because of them. Set in motion this Summer to get them removed and try to do other. At this point I am not sure where it will end up, and I have been going through bouts of depression at all the uncertainty. The last two months I have been going into the Denturist so that he can create an upper plate to be put in as soon as all the implants and rest of my teeth are removed.  As he has had to work around the badly placed mess in my mouth, it has given me nightmares that I will end up with something that will also be like them.  Last week I picked them up. Now I have no idea what teeth look like when they are out of the mouth and on a plate like this, to me they  do not look right, but I have to tell myself it will be different when in my mouth. I so hope so!!!!
On one hand I am really looking forward to having the surgery and finally getting rid of what I have – countdown is on. Wednesday morning is the big day.  Today and tomorrow are the last days these ugly teeth will be in my mouth!
On the other hand I am not exactly looking forward to the pain involved, the fact that I will be having to put that plate in my mouth, the weeks I am going to have to go through eating soft or liquid diet, and at this point in time the uncertainty of what the new teeth will look like and how they will fit in my mouth.  I know I have two good people working with me on this venture, and have to put my trust in them, but after all the problems I have had in the past, this is very hard for me to do fully.

Facebook has been my salvation and my escape from all the worries, and I have met some wonderful people in there. Despite all the glitches and problems they have   I have been enjoying the games I play and the camaraderie of the players in them.  I have not felt quite as isolated as I would have otherwise.  New friends and old have been my support and connection to the world other than what I live in here at home.  I can only ask that those that care send me good healing thoughts now, and for a satisfactory outcome.

Yesterday was my son’s 49th birthday – so hard to think of him as being there, he is still just my boy. I know he thinks of me too as still the younger person I was in his youth.  Every weekend he calls and we chat for an hour on the phone, as he lives in Washington, and most of the time in spokane – too far for us to get together regularly much as I would like to.  Yesterday it was a quick one, as he was about to board a bus to come to Seattle for today – a sad journey for him. One of his best friends passed away suddenly last week, and the memorial is to be held today. I never met Dan, but I heard of him almost every time Eugene and I talked, so felt I knew him somewhat. He leaves behind a 2yr old daughter and his wife. Why I am talking about this? It has left me in a funny mood, I think about how life has no guarrentees, and none of really know when our time is up. Dan was still young, barely 50, a life filled with loved ones and feelings he could live forever.
It brought up memories of the loss of my SIL so many years ago from a car accident – that was the most devasting thing to go through, and how thankfull I am that my daughter was able to cope through that tragedy, and is now happily married to a wonderful man and has three beautiful daughters.
I see so many of my friends now losing their loved ones and the grieving they go through that is so hard for some of them to overcome.
I think of my Mother, and cry as I miss her from the days she was so full of life and there whenever an adventurous idea came up – game to be a part of it (I do not like to think of the 12 years she spent in a nursing home, helpless and unable to even communicate properly – that was one of the hardest long term times I went though, and was actually happy when she decided to go)

So I guess this post is all about emotions, and life/death and possibly what is really important to us in this life – the people we know and love. 

Elmer and I talked a bit about this in another area. We have so many people we care about, be they family or friends. I try to connect often, and I at least try to let them know I think of them often and love them all. Do they even realise how sincere I am?  I make no demands on their time, I do not interfere with their lives or tell them how to run it, even if I think they have chosen a hard road and could do other to make it easier. It is not my place and I know how I feel if they tried to do that to me – would not like it at all, so I give them the same as I want back.  If they do ask though I will be honest in what my opinions and thoughts/feelings are on whatever question they have asked, and I know it is not always liked as sometimes the answer they want is a confirmation of good action, or a ‘yes man’ answer which is not always the one I give.  So how will I be remembered? 
 

When I woke up this morning the first thing I did was look out the bedroom window – thought my eyes must be really tired as it was just white out there
Seems we had a coating of snow overnight. Surprise!  Not much, just enough to cover the roofs, grass and roads. will be all gone once the sun warms everything up a bit.
Tuesday afternoon it was so pretty after a lot of rain. I had received the weekly sale letter in my mail from my favorite Nursery. They were advertising snapdragons for this week on sale. These just happen to be one of the flowers that I love to have in my garden every year as they are not only pretty, but flower right through fall.. Last year they did not have the regular ones and I missed them, so I was determined to get some this time. Called daughter Angela and asked if she would like to go with me to see if I could get some quickly before they sold out. She was game. And the timing was perfect – they only had a few plants left. I lucked out there. Wow they also had Calibroche(million bells), another plant I have come to love for my patio planters, that has become so popular that you have to get there early to find any, and again, last year I was not able to get them.  My shopping cart filled up fast – also picked up some almost neon red Geraniums – a new color by the look of it and just beautiful. I was a happy shopper!  They also had some very healthy strong baby tomato plants, so I picked up three for Elmer – makes him happy too. I am so pleased he decided to keep them all in the greenhouse till the weekend, when it is supposed to be sunny and much warmer, and I can hopefully plant them all in their new homes. It really is a bit early for them to be exposed to the elements.  That is the big problem – they are sold a couple of weeks too soon, and have to be babied till the right time. On the other hand, if I waited till then to look for them, they would not be available any more. Now just have to hope they continue to thrive in the green house till the right time to plant outside.

March is the month I celebrate being born into this life.
As the years go by I sometimes feel as if it is either no longer important to count the years, or else it is just the opposite. For one thing, I do not feel my age (sometimes my body does though )

I want others to recognize me on this day – and feel silly for this need I have to be recognized. This year it was so wonderful to receive so many wishes from a lot of people that know me, and some family members. Always surprises me as to whom will phone or drop a note into my mail to let me know they thought of me for this event.
I do not ask for  or expect gifts – I have all I need and can afford to buy what I want, so it is not important, it is the recognition that gives me the most pleasure.

This year daughter Angela and son John treated both Elmer and I out to dinner at a restaurant of my choice.

Their eldest – my first Grandchild, joined us for this too and I was just delighted and very happy indeed. This was the only photo I have of this event and had Elmer take it for us.  The food was great, and the company perfect for my night out, a very seldom occurance any more as Elmer does not like to go out to eat much any more.  Thank you guys for a great birthday dinner.

Just had to share this in here.

Wow a long time since I felt like writing something in here.
I see my greetings are viable once again so it has to be a year ago that I put that in.

What a winter we had this time! Mild and breaking records for being the warmest one ever, and it had to come when the Vancouver area really wanted the snow!
We were the hosts for the winter Olympics, and it was uite something to hear how they had to create and bring in snow for this event. An awesome one as it turned out. Guess people are still celebrating and partying in Vancouver – of course right after it we hosted the Paralympics too, and from the bit I have heard it went off very well indeed with one of the largest attendences ever as well. Good to hear that people turned out for this as much as they did as I think the contestants are heros.

Most of my time is taken playing in FaceBook.  How did I get myself into so many of the activities and games in there? Not to say I am complaining, just the opposite – I love them!
My biggest one is Zoo world. I ask myself what is the fascination and why am I so addicted to it? No answer at all. It took me months to complete their levels and I cannot stop, keep hoping there will be something new that will come for those of us that have reached that point. But there still are many things to challenge myself with as it continues to expand and add new goodies, almost on a daily basis. My family laugh at me when I visit and for a while that visit would be timed to when I needed to get home again to feed a new baby animal and get them tucked safely into the zoo before it got ill and went to hospital. Crazy! Now they have put in awards for others to feed for us – an ifffy place at that, but seems to be working for the most part. We both get awarded in the long run for this as long as some of the connected zoo players are on line when they are posted and see the post.

My poor Desk top computer cannot handle all the new graphics and things that are now being displayed and coming through the computer. Even mail was starting to have a hard time, so after a lot of procrastination and frustration I talked to Elmer and this Feb I went out and bought myself a new computer – not sure if I am really happy with it yet. I loved the Windows XP, for me it has such a solid feel and so easy to work with, but the latest Windows 7 is very different in many of the things I do, and I have had quuite a time trying to find the different ways to get to where I want and do the things I did. Still have not transferred everything over, and even the bit I did was a frustrating experience. It crashed twice on me already, which makes me hesitate in putting in more of the programs I have that I work with. I wonder if my old PSP will function in the new environment or will I have to buy the newst version? My favorite one was #7 and now they are way past that, but it is a program I was constantly in with my photos, and I miss working with it.  While I still am not taking that many, I want to get it going again. Did take a couple though of the Hyacinths in my garden

(Hyacinths)March 2010
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=161553&id=701722201&l=ebbaac148e

Their perfume is very strong this year, and after taking the pics I went out again and picked some to bring inside. So pretty to be able to see them whenever I am in the livingroom now.

Oh My but it has been a long time since I felt like writing anything and sharing some of my life here.
Seems a lot has happened over the last few months, yet  life has been the same.
My camera does not seem to come out as much, but when I look at my saved pics there are quite a few new ones

this littel fellow came to visit – I was lucky enough to get a pic as just after this a crow dived at him and chassed him away. I laughed so much at that as it just looked like the crow was protecting the feeder for the little birds. (They never feeds from it otherwise)

Another delightful little visitor while we still had the feeder up – we do not get to see this one regularly, but it came for quite a few days.

Elmer celelbrated his 80th Birthday in June

DIL made a truly great cake for him, and I asked two of his sons to share a chicken picnic dinner with us on our patio. They and their families came and I so enjoyed having them over – not sure what E thought though. He was excited at the prospect, but when it came to the actual event, I am not sure just how he felt. It took some doing to even get him to pose for this one

While there have been several birthdays or small events, I will have to get back to them – very few pics indeed for them.

Meanwhile – It has taken me a little while to get this album organized and uploaded. Always after the winter I can hardly wait to see what is going to come up again in my garden and what will not survive and have to be replaced. Seems the extra long cold winter and heavy snow did not hurt too many of my plants, though some did not make it. My bulbs were not the best, especially the Hyacinths, while the wild bluebells took over (Idid not take their pics) but it was just wonderful to see new growth and color again. This album covers from April to June, and as much as possible I have tried to show it in the monthly progressions.

http://www.care2.com/c2c/photos/view/449078385/Spring_Flowers_2009/

I seem to have so little to say lately anywhere. April already – time just dissapears and every day is about the same. One thing – Yea! the sun finaly came out and the temps are rising for the next few days. Another teaser for what late Spring early Summer is to be. A reminder that the world is not always cold, cloudy and brown outside my windows haha.

The other day I took advatage of a break in the rain nad went outside to see if anything was going on yet in the garden. While the front main beds still look so sad the one alongside the house surprised me

a few of the Hyacinths there were blooming – very week and scraggly looking, but still a burst of unexpected color. Also some of the Grape Hyacinths were showing their pretty faces.

These were growing in a crack in our sidewalk next to the flower bed.

I have virtually been housebound for so long now my legs are telling me they need to be exercised more, but I have no interest in going and doing anything for them yet. Just have to walk around the house more I guess. My one knee really is giving me some pain and I am not sure what is causing it. I also seem to have developed a corn on the other foot and it hurts to put pressure on it or wear some of the shoes I have – a new experience for me never having had one before. OK that is my whine for today

We had a bit of a scare too where Elmer is concerned last week – he bought himself a new hedge trimmer and just had to try it out and clean up some of the neighbors hedge that had overgrown our fence and looked ugly. An hour later he came in with pain in chest and left arm, his color was awful, and he could hardly breathe.  Scared me no end, and he will not see a Dr. for any reason. Gave him an aspirin and asked him to please just relax. He slept for the rest of the day and most of the following day, but seems OK now. He probably will not be happy to know I am even writing this for anyone to see, as he does not like me to tell anyone at all when there is something wrong. Puts me in a dreadful position all round – I feel helpless and can only worry myself sick and keep a close eye on him.

Needless to say I immersed myself in the donation areas of FB and could not concentrate on much else.

It was this time of the year again when I celebrate another birthday. I am never sure just what is going to come my way for this occasion. No set traditins or family gatherings. So I was delighted when John and Angela called to say they would like to treat Elmer and I out for dinner at their favorite Old Spaghetti Factory restaurant on my day. The sun was shining, the temps not too bad, and with the change in time still light out enough that we did not have to worry about driving in the dark. (At least I did not have to worry LOL)

We started out with soup

We all chose this and it was good!

For my main meal I decided to try their Steak, which I normaly do not have when I go out like this

but it was covered in mushrooms and I wanted that.
Turned out to be well worth it. I could not eat half of what is on the plate, way too much for me, but enjoyed every mouthful.

John had alerted the staff that this was a birthday dinner, so when they brought our desert of ice cream mine had a sparkler on it and the waiters/waitresses all gathered round and sang Happy Birthday to me. I was just so tickled.

I received wishes from so many people – online, email, and long lovely phone calls. Some even surprised me as I had not expected them to do that. Made my day.

But my celebrations were not over. The next day I was invited over to my other daughter’s home for lunch. Sheilagh put on a delicious chicken salad wrap, her girls had made me a beautiful bithday card, Angela was there too, and it was party time! I finally even got my birthday cake.

Knowing that carrot cake was one of the very few kinds of cake I truly like Sheilagh had made this for me. We joked that she had better not put all the candles on as there would not be any room and a fire hazard LOL, still she had a lot on there and I had to blow twice to put them all out. All in all a great birthday, and leaves me very happy and feeling loved.